Eden Wellness Blog

C H I L D H O O D

6/5/2022

C H I L D H O O D

The foundations of who you are.

Your childhood determines how you see the world, how you see yourself, how you deal with things, how you think about things, what your values are, how you work, how you live, how you love, how you parent, everything.

A troubled childhood doesn't necessarily mean you'll have a troubled life. But you might. Just as a happy childhood doesn't necessarily mean you'll be successful, but you might. The 'nature vs nurture' debate has long been discussed the world over. The difference here is your resilience, your determination, your belief in yourself, your knowledge from the world and education, and so many other factors. But ultimately, how you deal with things in life come from childhood.

One child might take a criticism and turn it inward, and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Another child might take that same criticism and find a fire within, a determination to prove the world wrong - and they do.

Events don't have to have been deliberate acts intended to upset; often, people don't realise what damage a simple passing comment can cause.

How does your childhood affect you, good and bad? What if you could use your mind/brain to change things you'd like to change, to stop damaging stories, beliefs, and scars from causing any more harm? What would you be like now, who would you be, if things had been different?

There is always a way to heal. You can't change the past - but you can step into your future - it's in your hands. I can and have helped hundreds of people move forward from upsetting memories, so they can create a life they are secure in. Get in touch if this is something you feel you could benefit from.

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You Can Change The Way You Feel, If You Want To

10/4/2022

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Microblog!
If you have a fear of dogs, you can choose to feel the way you feel about fluffy rabbits instead. If you smoke, you can choose to live your life as a non-smoker, forever. If you dread going to work every morning, you can change that feeling to feel the way when you do the weekly shop, for example (not hugely excited, but ok all the same). If you feel overwhelmed, you can train your mind to become focused, tidy and organised. If you struggle in any area of life, it doesn't have to be that way. So often, we think 'it's just the way I am' and surrender to our feelings, responses, characteristics. But if they cause you distress, they can and should be changed! It is far easier than you might think. Get in touch to find out how I could help you.

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How Do You Self-Soothe?

22/3/2022

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'The main affliction of our modern civilisation is that we don't know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.'
Thich Nhat Hanh

Think about it - we are all about instant gratification these days, especially as we are coming out of restrictions and lockdowns. We don't have to be bored - ever - we can watch whatever we want, whenever we want. Our children are handed iPads wherever they are, whenever. Restaurants, family gatherings, you see it everywhere. We are constantly being distracted by our outside world. What's the problem? The problem is, we still have problems. We still have stresses, but we are losing the ability to deal with them. We still have things to do, jobs to go to, and responsibilities to honour. So what happens when all this gets too much?

We eat. We drink. We smoke. We act up. Insert any other behaviour here. We do anything we can to self-soothe, to distract, to escape what is actually going on, because we don't know what to do with those feelings. We've spent years being distracted, busy, on the go, but the stresses still build up and we ignore.

When clients talk to me, they might start crying and say ‘I have no idea where this is coming from,’ and they apologise. I think it’s good. It’s a breakthrough. I hand them a tissue and tell them it’s ok, and to keep going, keep talking, keep crying, sit with the feelings. They always feel better for it, even if it’s a realisation and acknowledgement of just how much is going on for them. Because from there, we can do something. We can change the coping mechanisms. We can replace the unhelpful behaviours. We can heal.

If you dislike the idea of sitting still, you need to sit still. Read that again…

Contact me if this sounds familiar - and I may be able to help you.
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#rushrush #busybusy #badgeofhonour #busybadgeofhonour #alwaysonthego #instantgratification #runningaway #emotions #fearofemotions #selfsoothe #selfsoothing #illbehaviour #createyourlife #thichnhathanh #affliction #moderncivilisation #modernworld #ipads #ipad #netflix #neverbored #bebored #bestill #slowdown #smoking #drinking #overeating #badhabits #unhealthy #healthymind

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March 10th, 2022

10/3/2022

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The Protective Bubble

13/10/2021

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One of my children is a bit sad this week, due to another child being mean at school. Obviously as a parent this is a horrible thing to hear, and a difficult situation to be in. This morning I used a technique with her which I do actually use myself sometimes, and share with my clients for a whole number of reasons.

I told her to imagine she has a protective shield all around her, like a bubble, or anything she wants it to be. I told her to imagine that if anyone says anything mean to her, the words come towards her, they hit the shield and they bounce away from her.
‘You know when you throw a rubber ball against a wall and it bounces everywhere really quickly, before slowing down and eventually stopping?’
She started to laugh. ‘Yes!’
‘Well, it's a bit like that. When anyone says anything mean, it comes towards you, hits the shield and bounces away from you.’
‘Does the other person feels it?’
‘No, they don't, but they might soon get bored and stop.’
‘So it's like magic?’
‘Maybe, but really, it’s that you have the power to choose what words you will accept from people. Any time nice things are happening or nice things are being said, those things can get through the shield, but anything that's not nice will just bounce away. You can't stop people from being mean or saying mean things but you can always have your shield to protect you from their words. What colour is your bubble?’
It’s pink!’ She replied.

In the car, she shared the technique with her siblings, and they all walked into school giggling and imagining rubber balls bouncing all over the place which they can sit back and imagine, any time it’s necessary.

Try it with your children any time they are upset by someone else’s behaviour, and see how empowered it can help them feel. 💕

We become aware of who we are when we are children, and expectations of how we are to be treated, really set in. It is so important to make sure our children know when they can stand up and decide how they will be treated. We often hear of people having been bullied or picked on, 'all my life' - it starts at a young age and they become a target. By empowering them as young as possible, to be able to choose what they will and won't accept, we can stop the pattern of this as soon as it starts.

#hypnotherapy #protectivebubble #aura #shield #childhood

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Fear of Needles? BWRT

8/10/2021

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Fear of Needles?
I won’t share a picture of an actual medical needle for obvious reasons! Sometimes just the sight of one can send someone into those familiar feelings of fear, panic, or anxiety. This is something I have dealt with before, but even more so now, due to the covid vaccine.

A fear of needles can sometimes be something people can easily live with, however, it can be dangerous when it comes to certain illnesses such as those when we need regular blood tests. It can prevent women from getting pregnant because they are afraid of all the necessary checks. It can hold people back from travelling, when they learn of different vaccines they might need, to be able to travel to certain countries. Whatever the reason, I can help, and I usually use BWRT (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy) to do so, because it is quick, effective, and we don’t need to find the reason for the fear in the first place. All you need is to know exactly how you would like to feel instead.

Contact me for more information or to book your appointment! laura@bwrtireland.ie www.bwrtireland.ie

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How to keep yourself so busy that there is no time left to face your problems (hint - don't!)

8/5/2021

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'How to keep yourself so busy that there is no time left to face your problems' - I saw this recently on a Facebook post. It was a picture from a selection of mock-up book covers created by a psychiatrist, but I can’t remember for the life of me who to credit for it. If you're familiar with it, do let me know! The idea is that basically, we use busy-ness as a reason to avoid ourselves. I know, right? Hurts. It’s all done on a subconscious level; we don’t realise we are doing it and we don’t know what we might be trying to avoid. There were multiple comments under the picture from people saying things like ‘ouch!’, ‘oh dear’ and ‘wow…’, all realising that for them, it was spot-on.

It really struck a chord with me; on one hand, because I have often wondered why we feel the need to pack our schedules and tell everyone all about them; and on the other hand, because perhaps this was a big part of why we all struggled so much when COVID hit. All of a sudden, we were left with nothing to occupy our minds - – we know that much. But what exactly does that mean? If any of you have tried meditation and found it quite uncomfortable, you might be able to resonate. I have heard people say they can’t sit still. For some, it’s because they feel the need to keep moving, and for others, they say it’s because they find whatever emotions come up, too overwhelming. To me, both scenarios are the same, but with a different understanding. When we need to keep moving, we may not even realise what it is we are trying to keep moving from, or even that that’s what we are doing in the first place... until we find ourselves with no option but to be still.

I miss the busyness of home, London. It was a great distraction from myself. I literally hated sitting still, and I lived in the perfect place for that to be an impossibility. It’s constant hustle and bustle, always having something to do, somewhere to go, people to see, something exciting going on, always going to work. There was very little time to just be at home and that suited me just fine. If there was a rare moment of quiet, I found it almost unbearable. I'd be messaging friends, desperate to meet up with them. Only now, looking back, do I realise why. Running away from my own mind, my own truths, without having any idea I was doing it. 'Let's meet up!' translated as 'distract me, keep me company, let me pretend everything is just fine!'

Having nothing to occupy our minds leads to being presented with what lies there. Our worries, our insecurities, our fears, our irrational thoughts about ourselves. Having all our outlets ‘taken away’ from us with absolutely no warning left us with no choice but to sit with ourselves. For many, it’s been a period of enlightenment - if we’ve recognised that that’s what’s happening. For others, it’s been an unbearable time, one in which they’ve done anything they can to keep busy where possible. Going for walks, getting lost in books, baking, box sets, etc. And while these are lovely things to do, it is also so important to be able to sit, listen, and feel what is actually going on within ourselves and to recognise and accept that there will always be ‘stuff’ that we need to sort through and not try to push down or avoid. Imagine how life would be if we all came to a point where we were quite happy and content with ‘nothing’ to do? To be able to accept and deal with uncomfortable emotions that rear their heads in times of quiet? To then be able to relish in the moments of stillness and use them productively, because we have cleared out and cleaned up so much rubbish? Instead, we make sure we are busy doing, busy working, busy achieving, busy being with others, busy fitting as much as we possibly can into our days, and doing anything to avoid actually having to be alone.

When we say we are busy, what is it we are subconsciously trying to communicate, and who to? Is it to other people, or to our innermost selves? Perhaps it means we are important, or successful, or needed, or valued. Which leads me to ask, don’t we feel any of those things just as we are? Are we not already important, successful, needed and valued, just by being us? I spent years studying, earning qualification after qualification. Some of it is because it's a requirement of my work, some is because I was subconsciously searching for approval. It was a need to be told I am doing well, that I am getting it right, that I am meeting someone else's expectations of me - but it was never fulfilled; I never felt I met that standard. I don't even know what that standard was. So where does it end? My answer to that is, it ends when we realise what we are doing. It ends when we accept ourselves. It ends when we are enough for ourselves just as we are. While I'll continue to study, it will be for work and for myself, not to fulfil a need to be given a proverbial pat on the back. And that is because I recognised what I was doing, and sat with it. That could only be done by slowing down and acknowledging it. I was keeping busy doing courses, not stopping to listen and realise that I was chasing a deeper need.

What are we missing (out on) when we are always busy doing? How often do you look back at old photos and wonder where that time went, maybe not even remembering the moment? I do that far too often. Photos of my children as babies come up on my phone and it makes me sad to think that I hadn’t soaked up those moments more than I did. Too busy (!) thinking about what I had to do for work most probably. Why? What was I really avoiding? These questions crop up in my mind all the time. Nowadays, if my children want me to lie with them and I am too busy to do so, I try to be aware of what I am doing, knowing that sooner than I know it, photos of today will present themselves on my phone in a few years and I will long for my children to ask me to lie with them. But they will be out with their friends, or doing something else, their own kind of busy. But they won’t want to be lying with me. Those moments will have passed. This is what I mean about ‘nothing’ – these moments of just sitting with each other are so precious and important and are certainly not ‘nothing’ in the traditional sense of the word. Those moments are everything.

While it is completely true that we all miss our friends and family, our connections, our hobbies, our holidays and so on, would it be true to say that what all that means, and what we are really missing (subconsciously), above everything, is being able to distract ourselves from our own minds?

As life is now slowly getting back to some kind of normal, I would highly recommend making sure to leave time for ‘nothing’ to do, because that is actually where all the magic happens. We recharge, we clear our heads, we become sharper and more focussed in our thinking, we come up with ideas, and far more comfortable with who we are. We become better. We sit with ourselves, we meditate, we do yoga, we allow ourselves to nurture from within. We sit with our children so that in years to come, we remember every moment of those old photographs.

When life is filling up again, will you make time in your busy schedule to fit in some time for nothing? It could be the most important and productive part of your day…...

Follow me over on my Insight Timer channel where I share relaxation and meditation audios and regular live events. You can do this on a computer or on the app on your phone/tablet. Allow me to help you to embrace the stillness and add meditation to your schedule! If you'd like help working on anything this blog might have brought up for you, or you've any questions at all, feel free to get in touch.
#busyness #badgeofhonour #stillness #covid #stop #slowdown #meditate #meditation

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Wish for It, Hope for It, Dream of It, But By All Means, Do It!

11/4/2021

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In Sharon Fitzmaurice’s podcast last week I spoke about taking time to do something for yourself. All too often we say ‘I’d love to take up painting’ or ‘I’d love to do that course’ but tell ourselves the timing isn’t right, or there isn’t time at all, and so on. I talk about juggling work, the kids, and courses, but believe me, there are more days where I don’t do very well than days that I do.

I waste a lot of time scrolling through my phone, and one of the biggest things for me is Candy Crush. I could be sitting in bed playing until all the lives run out. Afterwards, I am annoyed at myself, because that time would have been so much better spent getting lost in a novel and falling asleep with a book on my chest. And the next day, I complain to my whole family that I have no time to myself to read that book I have been looking at for months on end!

So, what is the key?

Discipline….!

Again - easier said than done. But for me, and for my clients, imagining reaching the goal is what works best. A few years ago I was thinking about setting up a hypnotherapy training school and I did nothing for a long time. I was afraid I’d fail, that I’d be a useless teacher, that no one would sign up for my courses. Or worse, that they WOULD sign up, and I’d be committed to delivering brilliant material for 10 months.

I had two scenarios in my head.

One - where I didn’t set up a school, but continued to think about it for years on end and wish I had just done it.

Two - where I had been teaching 5 or 6 years and was so experienced at it that it was just like a normal day at work.

The second scenario obviously appealed to me so much more and every time I thought of it, I'd feel excitement, motivation, enthusiasm. Every time I imagined the first scenario, I felt regret (even though it hadn’t happened yet - future pacing!) and panicked that I’d feel that way forever. Do you know what I mean? What are the things you would like to have done that still make you feel sick when you think about them now? Could you go for it? What do you need to do? How would it feel, what would it look like, where would you be now?

When you say you don’t have time, how much of your time is wasted (like mine, on Candy Crush!) that could be spent building your dream, or your hobby, or your course?

Today, pick one of the things you’ve put off, or made up reasons in your head as to why it can’t happen, and imagine having it done. Write down what life looks like. Feel how good it feels. You could have that feeling for real. Could you go for it?

I think you could.
And there will still be time for Candy Crush...!

P.S. I did set up that hypnotherapy school! It's now in it's 5th year (however, on a break - like everything else - due to covid). You can find out more about it over here. And yes, it was the right decision!

#candyccrush #procrastinating #proctastination #procrastinate #futurepacing #goals #discipline #dream #dreambig #goforit #idonthavetime #metime #taketheplunge #comfortzone #microblog #hypnosis #hypnotherapy #hypnotherapytraining #edenwellness #lauramcdonald #unsplash

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11 Simple Tips for Managing Life, Work, and Children at Home During Lockdown

10/1/2021

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So...! How has the first week of 2021 been for you?

I am sure that pre-2020, life had already felt like it was a juggling act... what would you give to go back to that now? Now that you really are spinning more plates than ever before? As the schools are still closed and many of you are unable to go into work, you might find yourself juggling your job and children at the SAME TIME...(again)!!!

This is something I have already been doing for many years (when I am not in my therapy room in Kachina) with no help, with my supervision/mentoring work, or writing/printing teaching notes, or holding meetings with supervisees around the world, or taking client phone calls - all while cooking meals, trying to keep the house in order, and dealing with chronic physical illness. It is not easy and is very, very stressful. I used to think it was just me who found it tough, until the rest of the world joined in and agreed. While I can still get these things done, I can't see clients obviously, because the last thing I want is one of my children to burst into the room while I am doing Zoom therapy for someone who needs my full and undivided attention.

So, how can you help yourself when your flow is continuously interrupted, every 60 seconds? How can you calm that nervous system down again when it's spent the best part of 18 hours in stress mode with no time to wind down, and no official tea breaks like there might be in a 'proper' working environment? How can you stop the chatter in your mind that you didn't do enough, you snapped too much, you must do better, you aren't coping well enough? How can you bring your mind to a place of stillness so you can fall asleep easily? Here are some things I have done over the years to help me through:

1) Remind yourself that this is temporary. While we still have no idea exactly how long this will go on for, we do know that it will pass.

2) DO take breaks, preferably outside, no matter what the weather is like. Today, I went out into my garden, in the rain, with a big coat and cup of tea and just BREATHED and listened to nature.

3) Try to set a schedule for your working day. This is something I still haven't mastered and can still be answering emails at 1am (or posting on Facebook like I am now) and don't have a set start and finish time, but am working on it. Once you 'finish' work, try to make sure you really do finish, and start again the following morning. Keep a designated area in your house for work, if possible.

4) Get up, shower, get dressed, put your make up on, wear your perfume. I had a Zoom meeting with fellow BWRT supervisors yesterday morning, and it was the highlight of my week (!!) having a professional adult conversation and having something to get dressed 'properly' for, and really set my mood for the day. While it might have been fun and a novelty for many of us back in March to not have to get ready for work, it can take a toll on our state of mind. Get ready as if you were really going out to work and wear clothes that make you feel efficient, confident and productive.

5) Eat well. You are preparing food for the children anyway, so do the same for yourself. Have a healthy protein-rich breakfast that will keep you full until you need to cook lunch and dinner etc. Drink plenty of water - all the usual stuff we all know, but rarely implement!

6) When the kids have gone to sleep, do something for yourself, whether that is to run a hot bath with candles and music (or Netflix), or paint your nails, or read a magazine with a glass of wine. Make sure you have something lovely scheduled, therefore you will have something to look forward to at the end of a more-hectic-than-usual day. It will help. One of the things that makes lockdown difficult is not having anything planned - but simple things like this can really make a difference. Plan your evening!

7) Exercise. If you have equipment, great! If not, no problem! You don't need to have a fully equipped gym to keep active. There are literally millions of videos to follow on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook etc. There are countless apps and so much inspiration. Choose your time - whether that's 5 minutes or one hour - and notice the instant lift to your mood - it is scientifically proven! Add to that the feelings of pride that come with sticking to it, and it'll soon become something you find yourself needing to do.

8) Meditate. Like exercise, there are millions of videos, audios, and countless apps to follow, or just do it yourself. Meditation is like tidying the mind - you will be more productive, your mood will lift, your concentration will improve (essential for parents juggling kids and work) and you will be far calmer and less irritable.

9) When you get into bed, be aware of the thoughts running through your mind. I say this to all my clients, regardless of what they have come for help with. Watch the thoughts and don't allow negative ones to take hold. This is a critically important time, because your mind is falling asleep and can be highly suggestible, soaking up everything you tell it. Make sure those thoughts are positive - even if you have to make them up! 'I had a great day, I did so well today, I am proud of what I have achieved, I am feeling calm and relaxed, I am so grateful for my lovely warm bed, I am looking forward to waking up in the morning...' you get the idea. Do the same thing when you wake up - another highly suggestible time - train your mind to look to the goodness and you will find that you notice more and more of it as the days and weeks go by. We are not ignoring the fact that some days, everything is crap - but we are trying not to dwell on that and to instead, let it go.

10) Be kind to yourself. Some days you might want to just do nothing. If you can do that, then do; allow it, and enjoy it.

I keep remembering more things to include....
11) Homeschooling! Stick to the schedule as much as is possible. Teachers understand this is a very difficult time for parents and children alike. Get the kids to do what they can, help them with what you can, try not to get stressed or upset with them or yourself. Easier said than done, but all the above should help.

Take some time out for fun too. Take the kids into the garden to join you on your rainy tea break and some splashing in puddles. As I keep saying, we really do have everything we need within ourselves, to help ourselves. You can get to a mindset where you don't need to look outside of yourself to feel happy and content, and that is a really powerful space to find yourself in. You might actually find yourself enjoying this time with just yourselves. I know I do (most of the time)!

Please do feel free to message me here, or email me if you want to vent, or ask any advice. I can speak from personal experience! X
Good luck, you've got this!

#spinningplates #juggling #jugglinglife #homeschooling #workingfromhome #workingfromhomelife #lockdown

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JCI Runner Up, Mayo Style Awards Winner!

22/10/2018

Hello and a very good afternoon to you all! Following up from my last blog post, I am delighted to let you all know that on 28th August, I was awarded the Runner Up in the JCI Mayo Friendly Business Awards 2018 in the Customer Care category. This is a fantastic boost for Eden Wellness, especially as it is based on being 'secret shopped'. A lovely evening was had by all, and I would like to congratulate all the category Winners who went to the National Awards on the 12th October. More details can be found on the JCI Mayo website.

Following on from the JCI Mayo Friendly Business Awards, I was honoured to be awarded WINNER in the Health and Fitness Category on 7th September at the Mayo Style Awards - I was happy enough to be selected as a Finalist, so this was a real surprise! A fantastic night was had by all at Breaffy House Hotel, followed by great coverage of the event in the Connaught Telegraph Newspaper.

I am coming up to my 14th anniversary as a Clinical Hypnotherapist - I celebrate every 4th December to remember the day I was awarded my first Diploma in Hypnotherapy. As you may be aware, we are required to carry out a number of Continuous Professional Development hours per year. This year, I have studied Sports Psychology, BWRT Deep Mind Protocol, Defusing Depression, Relationship Repair, Ageing Unplugged, and am in the middle of an ITEC Personal Trainer Diploma course with Evolution Institute which is absolutely fantastic! I am enjoying every moment of it. I am already looking forward to whatever it is I will choose to study in 2019 - there's a world of information and learning out there.

In September, I started teaching my third Hypnotherapy Professional Practitioner Diploma at my training school, EICH Ireland. Students are loving the course content - as usual - and I am thoroughly enjoying teaching. As usual, the time is flying; I am already preparing notes for Module 3, which focuses on Stress and Anxiety - something we are sadly all too familiar with. Thankfully, this module teaches many coping mechanisms as well as teaching where stress and anxiety come from and why they are there. I am already welcoming applications for the next course, starting September 2019, one weekend a month for 10 months. Upon successful completion, you will gain two diplomas; one in Hypnotherapy with Psychotherapy, and one in Hypnoanalysis. Feel free to visit the website or email me for an application form. EICH Ireland was shortlisted as a finalist in the aforementioned JCI Mayo Friendly Business Awards, and it is recognised by leading hypnotherapy and psychotherapy registers across the UK and Ireland - visit the accreditation page here to read more.

Until next time, have a lovely weekend all, whatever it is you're up to. I'll be heading to The Movement in Castlebar for week 7 of our Diploma in Personal Training with Evolution Fitness Institute!

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