 September 2012
A few weeks after this was taken, I was prescribed anti depressants (not for the first time) and referred for 6 months of counselling. My baby boy was 5 months old. Having battled with my mind in the past, I felt I didn’t need help, especially as it is part of my job to help people with their minds. I thought I would be failing if I couldn’t sort things out myself. I thought it would look bad if I ever told anyone. I had a number of traumatic life events during my pregnancy, including losing my Mum to cancer, and all the grief that I’d tried to protect my baby from finally came out after he was born - not to mention the usual cocktail of emotions we have after having a baby. There’s a story about his birth too, but that’s for another post..! I eventually got help, not because I asked for it, but because my husband contacted the health nurse. He told me she would be visiting to check on the baby – but she was actually visiting to check on me. I agreed to go to my GP because anything was better than the numbness I was feeling. I took the medication and went for the help, which helped me bring myself out of the hole I’d fallen into, and I could start to see clearly again. It was like a fog was lifting. Why am I sharing this? I want you to know I’m not just sitting opposite you dishing out advice or reeling off the same stuff I do to everyone. I know what it’s like to feel that despair, that helplessness, and that exhaustion when you feel there’s nothing you can do but keep going. We all feel it in different ways, and this was just one of my experiences. I am also sharing it as a reminder that people in a difficult place can still smile and look happy, even feel moments of happiness, but feel like they’re drowning at the same time. Just because I use what are considered to be ‘alternative’ methods in my work (they’re actually complementary, to work alongside or on their own), it doesn’t mean I discourage anything else. Whatever it takes to help you to feel better, do it. I did… and I would again. You know where I am if you want to ask anything at all. x #grief #postnataldepression #newbaby #happyfaces #braveface #happy #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #helpme #medication #gp #hypnosis #bwrt #hypnotherapy See less
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 HYPNOSIS IN MINUTES: Read on if you want to be a non-smoker!
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| 'The main affliction of our modern civilisation is that we don't know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.' Thich Nhat Hanh |  |
Think about it - we are all about instant gratification these days, especially as we are coming out of restrictions and lockdowns. We don't have to be bored - ever - we can watch whatever we want, whenever we want. Our children are handed iPads wherever they are, whenever. Restaurants, family gatherings, you see it everywhere. We are constantly being distracted by our outside world. What's the problem? The problem is, we still have problems. We still have stresses, but we are losing the ability to deal with them. We still have things to do, jobs to go to, and responsibilities to honour. So what happens when all this gets too much?
We eat. We drink. We smoke. We act up. Insert any other behaviour here. We do anything we can to self-soothe, to distract, to escape what is actually going on, because we don't know what to do with those feelings. We've spent years being distracted, busy, on the go, but the stresses still build up and we ignore.
When clients talk to me, they might start crying and say ‘I have no idea where this is coming from,’ and they apologise. I think it’s good. It’s a breakthrough. I hand them a tissue and tell them it’s ok, and to keep going, keep talking, keep crying, sit with the feelings. They always feel better for it, even if it’s a realisation and acknowledgement of just how much is going on for them. Because from there, we can do something. We can change the coping mechanisms. We can replace the unhelpful behaviours. We can heal.
If you dislike the idea of sitting still, you need to sit still. Read that again…
Contact me if this sounds familiar - and I may be able to help you.
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#rushrush #busybusy #badgeofhonour #busybadgeofhonour #alwaysonthego #instantgratification #runningaway #emotions #fearofemotions #selfsoothe #selfsoothing #illbehaviour #createyourlife #thichnhathanh #affliction #moderncivilisation #modernworld #ipads #ipad #netflix #neverbored #bebored #bestill #slowdown #smoking #drinking #overeating #badhabits #unhealthy #healthymind
One of my children is a bit sad this week, due to another child being mean at school. Obviously as a parent this is a horrible thing to hear, and a difficult situation to be in. This morning I used a technique with her which I do actually use myself sometimes, and share with my clients for a whole number of reasons.
I told her to imagine she has a protective shield all around her, like a bubble, or anything she wants it to be. I told her to imagine that if anyone says anything mean to her, the words come towards her, they hit the shield and they bounce away from her.
‘You know when you throw a rubber ball against a wall and it bounces everywhere really quickly, before slowing down and eventually stopping?’
She started to laugh. ‘Yes!’
‘Well, it's a bit like that. When anyone says anything mean, it comes towards you, hits the shield and bounces away from you.’
‘Does the other person feels it?’
‘No, they don't, but they might soon get bored and stop.’
‘So it's like magic?’
‘Maybe, but really, it’s that you have the power to choose what words you will accept from people. Any time nice things are happening or nice things are being said, those things can get through the shield, but anything that's not nice will just bounce away. You can't stop people from being mean or saying mean things but you can always have your shield to protect you from their words. What colour is your bubble?’
It’s pink!’ She replied.
In the car, she shared the technique with her siblings, and they all walked into school giggling and imagining rubber balls bouncing all over the place which they can sit back and imagine, any time it’s necessary.
Try it with your children any time they are upset by someone else’s behaviour, and see how empowered it can help them feel. 💕
We become aware of who we are when we are children, and expectations of how we are to be treated, really set in. It is so important to make sure our children know when they can stand up and decide how they will be treated. We often hear of people having been bullied or picked on, 'all my life' - it starts at a young age and they become a target. By empowering them as young as possible, to be able to choose what they will and won't accept, we can stop the pattern of this as soon as it starts.
#hypnotherapy #protectivebubble #aura #shield #childhood
I told her to imagine she has a protective shield all around her, like a bubble, or anything she wants it to be. I told her to imagine that if anyone says anything mean to her, the words come towards her, they hit the shield and they bounce away from her.
‘You know when you throw a rubber ball against a wall and it bounces everywhere really quickly, before slowing down and eventually stopping?’
She started to laugh. ‘Yes!’
‘Well, it's a bit like that. When anyone says anything mean, it comes towards you, hits the shield and bounces away from you.’
‘Does the other person feels it?’
‘No, they don't, but they might soon get bored and stop.’
‘So it's like magic?’
‘Maybe, but really, it’s that you have the power to choose what words you will accept from people. Any time nice things are happening or nice things are being said, those things can get through the shield, but anything that's not nice will just bounce away. You can't stop people from being mean or saying mean things but you can always have your shield to protect you from their words. What colour is your bubble?’
It’s pink!’ She replied.
In the car, she shared the technique with her siblings, and they all walked into school giggling and imagining rubber balls bouncing all over the place which they can sit back and imagine, any time it’s necessary.
Try it with your children any time they are upset by someone else’s behaviour, and see how empowered it can help them feel. 💕
We become aware of who we are when we are children, and expectations of how we are to be treated, really set in. It is so important to make sure our children know when they can stand up and decide how they will be treated. We often hear of people having been bullied or picked on, 'all my life' - it starts at a young age and they become a target. By empowering them as young as possible, to be able to choose what they will and won't accept, we can stop the pattern of this as soon as it starts.
#hypnotherapy #protectivebubble #aura #shield #childhood
Fear of Needles?
I won’t share a picture of an actual medical needle for obvious reasons! Sometimes just the sight of one can send someone into those familiar feelings of fear, panic, or anxiety. This is something I have dealt with before, but even more so now, due to the covid vaccine.
A fear of needles can sometimes be something people can easily live with, however, it can be dangerous when it comes to certain illnesses such as those when we need regular blood tests. It can prevent women from getting pregnant because they are afraid of all the necessary checks. It can hold people back from travelling, when they learn of different vaccines they might need, to be able to travel to certain countries. Whatever the reason, I can help, and I usually use BWRT (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy) to do so, because it is quick, effective, and we don’t need to find the reason for the fear in the first place. All you need is to know exactly how you would like to feel instead.
Contact me for more information or to book your appointment! laura@bwrtireland.ie www.bwrtireland.ie
How to keep yourself so busy that there is no time left to face your problems (hint - don't!)
8/5/2021
'How to keep yourself so busy that there is no time left to face your problems' - I saw this recently on a Facebook post. It was a picture from a selection of mock-up book covers created by a psychiatrist, but I can’t remember for the life of me who to credit for it. If you're familiar with it, do let me know! The idea is that basically, we use busy-ness as a reason to avoid ourselves. I know, right? Hurts. It’s all done on a subconscious level; we don’t realise we are doing it and we don’t know what we might be trying to avoid. There were multiple comments under the picture from people saying things like ‘ouch!’, ‘oh dear’ and ‘wow…’, all realising that for them, it was spot-on.
It really struck a chord with me; on one hand, because I have often wondered why we feel the need to pack our schedules and tell everyone all about them; and on the other hand, because perhaps this was a big part of why we all struggled so much when COVID hit. All of a sudden, we were left with nothing to occupy our minds - – we know that much. But what exactly does that mean? If any of you have tried meditation and found it quite uncomfortable, you might be able to resonate. I have heard people say they can’t sit still. For some, it’s because they feel the need to keep moving, and for others, they say it’s because they find whatever emotions come up, too overwhelming. To me, both scenarios are the same, but with a different understanding. When we need to keep moving, we may not even realise what it is we are trying to keep moving from, or even that that’s what we are doing in the first place... until we find ourselves with no option but to be still.
I miss the busyness of home, London. It was a great distraction from myself. I literally hated sitting still, and I lived in the perfect place for that to be an impossibility. It’s constant hustle and bustle, always having something to do, somewhere to go, people to see, something exciting going on, always going to work. There was very little time to just be at home and that suited me just fine. If there was a rare moment of quiet, I found it almost unbearable. I'd be messaging friends, desperate to meet up with them. Only now, looking back, do I realise why. Running away from my own mind, my own truths, without having any idea I was doing it. 'Let's meet up!' translated as 'distract me, keep me company, let me pretend everything is just fine!'
Having nothing to occupy our minds leads to being presented with what lies there. Our worries, our insecurities, our fears, our irrational thoughts about ourselves. Having all our outlets ‘taken away’ from us with absolutely no warning left us with no choice but to sit with ourselves. For many, it’s been a period of enlightenment - if we’ve recognised that that’s what’s happening. For others, it’s been an unbearable time, one in which they’ve done anything they can to keep busy where possible. Going for walks, getting lost in books, baking, box sets, etc. And while these are lovely things to do, it is also so important to be able to sit, listen, and feel what is actually going on within ourselves and to recognise and accept that there will always be ‘stuff’ that we need to sort through and not try to push down or avoid. Imagine how life would be if we all came to a point where we were quite happy and content with ‘nothing’ to do? To be able to accept and deal with uncomfortable emotions that rear their heads in times of quiet? To then be able to relish in the moments of stillness and use them productively, because we have cleared out and cleaned up so much rubbish? Instead, we make sure we are busy doing, busy working, busy achieving, busy being with others, busy fitting as much as we possibly can into our days, and doing anything to avoid actually having to be alone.
When we say we are busy, what is it we are subconsciously trying to communicate, and who to? Is it to other people, or to our innermost selves? Perhaps it means we are important, or successful, or needed, or valued. Which leads me to ask, don’t we feel any of those things just as we are? Are we not already important, successful, needed and valued, just by being us? I spent years studying, earning qualification after qualification. Some of it is because it's a requirement of my work, some is because I was subconsciously searching for approval. It was a need to be told I am doing well, that I am getting it right, that I am meeting someone else's expectations of me - but it was never fulfilled; I never felt I met that standard. I don't even know what that standard was. So where does it end? My answer to that is, it ends when we realise what we are doing. It ends when we accept ourselves. It ends when we are enough for ourselves just as we are. While I'll continue to study, it will be for work and for myself, not to fulfil a need to be given a proverbial pat on the back. And that is because I recognised what I was doing, and sat with it. That could only be done by slowing down and acknowledging it. I was keeping busy doing courses, not stopping to listen and realise that I was chasing a deeper need.
What are we missing (out on) when we are always busy doing? How often do you look back at old photos and wonder where that time went, maybe not even remembering the moment? I do that far too often. Photos of my children as babies come up on my phone and it makes me sad to think that I hadn’t soaked up those moments more than I did. Too busy (!) thinking about what I had to do for work most probably. Why? What was I really avoiding? These questions crop up in my mind all the time. Nowadays, if my children want me to lie with them and I am too busy to do so, I try to be aware of what I am doing, knowing that sooner than I know it, photos of today will present themselves on my phone in a few years and I will long for my children to ask me to lie with them. But they will be out with their friends, or doing something else, their own kind of busy. But they won’t want to be lying with me. Those moments will have passed. This is what I mean about ‘nothing’ – these moments of just sitting with each other are so precious and important and are certainly not ‘nothing’ in the traditional sense of the word. Those moments are everything.
While it is completely true that we all miss our friends and family, our connections, our hobbies, our holidays and so on, would it be true to say that what all that means, and what we are really missing (subconsciously), above everything, is being able to distract ourselves from our own minds?
As life is now slowly getting back to some kind of normal, I would highly recommend making sure to leave time for ‘nothing’ to do, because that is actually where all the magic happens. We recharge, we clear our heads, we become sharper and more focussed in our thinking, we come up with ideas, and far more comfortable with who we are. We become better. We sit with ourselves, we meditate, we do yoga, we allow ourselves to nurture from within. We sit with our children so that in years to come, we remember every moment of those old photographs.
When life is filling up again, will you make time in your busy schedule to fit in some time for nothing? It could be the most important and productive part of your day…...
Follow me over on my Insight Timer channel where I share relaxation and meditation audios and regular live events. You can do this on a computer or on the app on your phone/tablet. Allow me to help you to embrace the stillness and add meditation to your schedule! If you'd like help working on anything this blog might have brought up for you, or you've any questions at all, feel free to get in touch.
#busyness #badgeofhonour #stillness #covid #stop #slowdown #meditate #meditation
In Sharon Fitzmaurice’s podcast last week I spoke about taking time to do something for yourself. All too often we say ‘I’d love to take up painting’ or ‘I’d love to do that course’ but tell ourselves the timing isn’t right, or there isn’t time at all, and so on. I talk about juggling work, the kids, and courses, but believe me, there are more days where I don’t do very well than days that I do.
I waste a lot of time scrolling through my phone, and one of the biggest things for me is Candy Crush. I could be sitting in bed playing until all the lives run out. Afterwards, I am annoyed at myself, because that time would have been so much better spent getting lost in a novel and falling asleep with a book on my chest. And the next day, I complain to my whole family that I have no time to myself to read that book I have been looking at for months on end!
So, what is the key?
Discipline….!
Again - easier said than done. But for me, and for my clients, imagining reaching the goal is what works best. A few years ago I was thinking about setting up a hypnotherapy training school and I did nothing for a long time. I was afraid I’d fail, that I’d be a useless teacher, that no one would sign up for my courses. Or worse, that they WOULD sign up, and I’d be committed to delivering brilliant material for 10 months.
I had two scenarios in my head.
One - where I didn’t set up a school, but continued to think about it for years on end and wish I had just done it.
Two - where I had been teaching 5 or 6 years and was so experienced at it that it was just like a normal day at work.
The second scenario obviously appealed to me so much more and every time I thought of it, I'd feel excitement, motivation, enthusiasm. Every time I imagined the first scenario, I felt regret (even though it hadn’t happened yet - future pacing!) and panicked that I’d feel that way forever. Do you know what I mean? What are the things you would like to have done that still make you feel sick when you think about them now? Could you go for it? What do you need to do? How would it feel, what would it look like, where would you be now?
When you say you don’t have time, how much of your time is wasted (like mine, on Candy Crush!) that could be spent building your dream, or your hobby, or your course?
Today, pick one of the things you’ve put off, or made up reasons in your head as to why it can’t happen, and imagine having it done. Write down what life looks like. Feel how good it feels. You could have that feeling for real. Could you go for it?
I think you could.
And there will still be time for Candy Crush...!
P.S. I did set up that hypnotherapy school! It's now in it's 5th year (however, on a break - like everything else - due to covid). You can find out more about it over here. And yes, it was the right decision!
#candyccrush #procrastinating #proctastination #procrastinate #futurepacing #goals #discipline #dream #dreambig #goforit #idonthavetime #metime #taketheplunge #comfortzone #microblog #hypnosis #hypnotherapy #hypnotherapytraining #edenwellness #lauramcdonald #unsplash
I waste a lot of time scrolling through my phone, and one of the biggest things for me is Candy Crush. I could be sitting in bed playing until all the lives run out. Afterwards, I am annoyed at myself, because that time would have been so much better spent getting lost in a novel and falling asleep with a book on my chest. And the next day, I complain to my whole family that I have no time to myself to read that book I have been looking at for months on end!
So, what is the key?
Discipline….!
Again - easier said than done. But for me, and for my clients, imagining reaching the goal is what works best. A few years ago I was thinking about setting up a hypnotherapy training school and I did nothing for a long time. I was afraid I’d fail, that I’d be a useless teacher, that no one would sign up for my courses. Or worse, that they WOULD sign up, and I’d be committed to delivering brilliant material for 10 months.
I had two scenarios in my head.
One - where I didn’t set up a school, but continued to think about it for years on end and wish I had just done it.
Two - where I had been teaching 5 or 6 years and was so experienced at it that it was just like a normal day at work.
The second scenario obviously appealed to me so much more and every time I thought of it, I'd feel excitement, motivation, enthusiasm. Every time I imagined the first scenario, I felt regret (even though it hadn’t happened yet - future pacing!) and panicked that I’d feel that way forever. Do you know what I mean? What are the things you would like to have done that still make you feel sick when you think about them now? Could you go for it? What do you need to do? How would it feel, what would it look like, where would you be now?
When you say you don’t have time, how much of your time is wasted (like mine, on Candy Crush!) that could be spent building your dream, or your hobby, or your course?
Today, pick one of the things you’ve put off, or made up reasons in your head as to why it can’t happen, and imagine having it done. Write down what life looks like. Feel how good it feels. You could have that feeling for real. Could you go for it?
I think you could.
And there will still be time for Candy Crush...!
P.S. I did set up that hypnotherapy school! It's now in it's 5th year (however, on a break - like everything else - due to covid). You can find out more about it over here. And yes, it was the right decision!
#candyccrush #procrastinating #proctastination #procrastinate #futurepacing #goals #discipline #dream #dreambig #goforit #idonthavetime #metime #taketheplunge #comfortzone #microblog #hypnosis #hypnotherapy #hypnotherapytraining #edenwellness #lauramcdonald #unsplash