'I'm Fine!' What lies beneath...
A few weeks after this was taken, I was prescribed anti depressants (not for the first time) and referred for 6 months of counselling. My baby boy was 5 months old.
Having battled with my mind in the past, I felt I didn’t need help, especially as it is part of my job to help people with their minds. I thought I would be failing if I couldn’t sort things out myself. I thought it would look bad if I ever told anyone.
I had a number of traumatic life events during my pregnancy, including losing my Mum to cancer, and all the grief that I’d tried to protect my baby from finally came out after he was born - not to mention the usual cocktail of emotions we have after having a baby. There’s a story about his birth too, but that’s for another post..!
I eventually got help, not because I asked for it, but because my husband contacted the health nurse. He told me she would be visiting to check on the baby – but she was actually visiting to check on me.
I agreed to go to my GP because anything was better than the numbness I was feeling. I took the medication and went for the help, which helped me bring myself out of the hole I’d fallen into, and I could start to see clearly again. It was like a fog was lifting.
Why am I sharing this?
I want you to know I’m not just sitting opposite you dishing out advice or reeling off the same stuff I do to everyone. I know what it’s like to feel that despair, that helplessness, and that exhaustion when you feel there’s nothing you can do but keep going. We all feel it in different ways, and this was just one of my experiences.
I am also sharing it as a reminder that people in a difficult place can still smile and look happy, even feel moments of happiness, but feel like they’re drowning at the same time.
Just because I use what are considered to be ‘alternative’ methods in my work (they’re actually complementary, to work alongside or on their own), it doesn’t mean I discourage anything else. Whatever it takes to help you to feel better, do it. I did… and I would again.
You know where I am if you want to ask anything at all. x
#grief #postnataldepression #newbaby #happyfaces #braveface #happy #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #helpme #medication #gp #hypnosis #bwrt #hypnotherapy
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